So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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