Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
operation have a gay friend backfired
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
