The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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