So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
