i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
