Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
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