You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
