ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
