I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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