hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize