I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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