Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm way too hungover for life right now
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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