I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
