walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
