I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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