Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
