I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
