Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
