Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We left an ass print on the piano.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize