ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
high people should be assigned attendants
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
