Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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