I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
