Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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