so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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