Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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