i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
