Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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