mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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