we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize