Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
