he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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