What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
