Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
