The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
