You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
