That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
