I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
