You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
