please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
did i just pee glitter
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
