He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
