Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
People in love make me want to vomit
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
