And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just threw up on my dentist
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
