As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Is Oprah even human
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
