butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Randomize
