She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
