im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize