dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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