Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
