why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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