We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
