She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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