me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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