She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
