You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
