Ambien. No doubt about it.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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