I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
