You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Randomize
