Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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