How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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