when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
