I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
