Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
