apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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