My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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