My sheets look like a crime scene.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I am one with the molecules
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize