If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
