where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
