My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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