whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
