haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
