His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
