guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
